You are pregnant! Congrats!
And this is your first time ever to be in this state of motherhood, so my next words to you is “How do you feel about it?”
You might say “I’m great Lai and actually this is the best thing that ever happened to me at this moment of my life”.
Yes, what you said is technically right. It’s your baby and being pregnant is one of the significant milestones in your life as a women. But what I am asking to you is “How do you REALLY feel about it?” – after all the cheering and congratulatory messages from your family and friends. Let me share you first my own feelings that time when I was in your shoes.
MY MOMENT OF DISCOVERY
I am not the first one who ‘detected’ that I am pregnant.
One of my closest friend saw that there is something new in me when we were attending a convention for our faith. She told me that there’s something different in me, in my body and in my curves and she thinks that I am pregnant. I didn’t know what to say to her. Me and my husband were in fourth year of our marriage and that time it didn’t occurred to me that I can get pregnant too easily because I have a Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) even before I am single. Having PCOS means you will experience an irregular menstruation so there’s a less probability that you could get pregnant because you have an abnormal ovulation. Will tackle this more in my future articles.
To verify my friend’s prediction I used a pregnancy test and viola!She’s right! What I felt that moment cannot be explained by one word. It’s a mixture of different feelings – though I’m happy I also felt overwhelmed, surprised, shocked and appalled.. maybe because this ‘preggy thing’ is new to me, I didn’t know what to expect.
I am truly happy when I discovered that I was pregnant but I am also undeniably afraid of the unknown that is happening to me that time. Happiness and anxiety submerged and I can’t control it. Did you feel it too?
So from this genuine experience of mine I want to share some practical tips and sincere advice for you my fellow mommy who carries a child in her body for the first time.
1.Don’t Get Too Nervous
This is the most important tip that I will give to you dear mommy. Though you can’t avoid it, you still can control it. Why? Your stress has a very big impact on your child’s present fetal state and your anxiety can also affect your child’s future emotional state. When a mother worries a lot, grumps a lot and always irritated about everything when she’s pregnant, it could affect her baby’s personality and temper in future.
Is this the truth Lai? You may say.
Yes! Though I never knew it at first when I was carrying my first child, after three years I somehow understand it. My proof? My eldest daughter Keilah Bree.
As a first time pregnant I’m a very bothered mommy. I usually worried about anything – yes anything – about the baby inside me. Some trivial thoughts to a more serious questions like ‘Is she still moving?’ ‘Is her heart’s still beating?’ ‘Did I eat the right food for her?’ ‘Can I make it to normal delivery?’ or ‘Maybe she can eat her poop if I get overdue?’always linger in my mind.. I can’t help it because I’m a first time pregnant mom right? We are entitled to feel this way because, this is a new thing to us and for some reasons there’s no one telling us what we should or we shouldn’t feel about it. So what we are going do is to just help ourselves and basically just do what we think is right – to overthink it all and flood ourselves with worries and negativity. The result? Not good at all.
On my first pregnancy, given that I always worry, I usually feel a sudden cramps or sharp pains in my belly. Somehow my unpleasant emotions are affecting my baby and its also affecting me physically. And after three years of giving birth to Kei I saw that it also affects her emotionally. She’s just like me – a nervous and worried kid. I can’t undo the after effects of it now but all I can do now is to manage her and deal with her in best way I could.
So moms-to-be please don’t stress yourselves just because you can. Think first its effects on your baby. That is the most important thing now.
2. Give Your Self Time To Adjust
Being pregnant is not easy and no one expects you to know everything about it, so mom be good to yourself and take it easy. Remember this is your first hand experience of being pregnant so its understandable that you have a little or zero knowledge about it. So give yourself a time to absorb or internalize – your new situation.
For sure you will get overwhelm for this new chapter of your life so give yourself some time to adjust from it. It’s like a first time to ride an airplane – you need to ‘feel’ it first and get acquainted on these new experience – so you will never get afraid.
3. Anticipate Changes In You
Be prepare to know that sooner or later you will experience major changes on yourself – physically and emotionally.
Physically not only on the bump part but also you can see changes on your skin, hair, face, hands and feet.
For most of the women when they get conceive, their skin will get more dry and flaky. Hair’s natural radiance and shine might get lost also. Your face will become more oily or more dry, depends how your hormones will work when you become pregnant. Not to mention what will happen to the size of your nose and your cheek! And also your feet will swell! These physiological changes in you might make you scream – not out of joy but out of panic – but hey all these things are normal for a pregnant momma like you!
Emotional changes will also occur to you. Here comes what we can call “Mommy Blues” – because you – ‘the mommy’ will become more sensitive and more emotional in everything that matters to you. So if you’re a ‘cool girl’ when it’s still you and your man in the picture, you will be a ‘crying girl’ now that you have your baby inside you.
4. Educate Yourself In This New Journey
Just think that motherhood is your new assignment. There’s no harm if you will read articles, books or sites (like this mine) about all of the facts that you want to know about pregnancy and parenthood.
Personally I buy a book about it (I don’t know where I put it now) but the point here is you should be eager to know and you should be willing to learn about this new phase in your life. And for the record I also borrow a book from my friend about baby names! It’s very fun and exciting! You could even browse it online by clicking this ‘baby names’. This insights and ideas will prepare you for this new journey to motherhood. So don’t be lazy and do your homework!
5. Document Your First Times!
Write a diary or personal notes where you can pour out your heart and say your thoughts about your pregnancy. As for me I didn’t do that but I collect and save my prenatal check-up notebooks, my ultrasound results and other paraphernalia like the pregnancy tests that I used (yes I did save it!) and the hospital name tag when I gave birth.
And don’t forget to have a maternity photo shoot! Like what I did on my first! You wanna know from where studio I got it? Just email me and I will tell you!
Putting your first experiences in writing or in picture will make it more memorable to you. This will serve as your remembrance and when the time that you want to look back to it, then you have something to read on and look upon to – reminiscing it with your husband and your grandchildren in future.
6. Prepare Ahead Of Time
You will still have to wait for nine months for your due date but it doesn’t mean you can procrastinate and don’t do a thing!
You can prepare now or as soon as you wanted to! Jot down the things that you and your baby needs before and after you gave birth – the newborn essentials.
For your own health needs, don’t forget your daily prenatal vitamins and medications, your daily glass of milk and your eight hours of sleep. Don’t skip your prenatal check-ups to your OB Gynecologist because with this you will know the real-time condition of your baby.
If you can save right now for your baby’s arrival then save now. Allot a portion of your salary or your budget to your baby’s needs. You will get surprise on how much you could spend from the time you will see your baby in your ultrasound check-ups up to the moment that you will touch her physically. So having a baby means hard work and commitment!
7. Just Seize Your Moment!
Enjoy it while it lasts! Carrying a baby in your body is a very exceptional thing that you can experience in your life! It’s a pure miracle from God and no one could ever understand it until it happens to her personally.
Until now it amazes me when I remember the time when I got pregnant to my eldest daughter. And how much more when I got pregnant for the second time to Kendall!
I can say that those two moments of my life are my most cherished memories as a women. The feelings can’t be explain by words. Only the mother and her child knows it. It connects them perfectly. And it lasts forever. I love the feeling that there’s someone inside of you that you need to protect to and nurture too.
So to you my first-time mommy just enjoy your pregnancy and don’t worry too much. Be confident and never think that you can’t do it, because you can momma! We are the most brave and most loving person in this world! We are mothers!
So I hope with these seven tips and several useful advice from me I somehow help you and give you some knowledge that you will use on your first time pregnancy. Did I empower you? Show it here by commenting below. I would love to hear it from you =)